B-Sides: Why Bing Sucks

Category: B-SidesSearch Engines Comments: 13 comments

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grumpy puppyby Bethaney Wallace

 

Bing! Bing! When I hear this form of onomatopoeia, I’m reminded of two things. One is an old fashioned cash register that is excited to accept payments. Each time an operator open its drawer, it bings loudly and proud—the kind of register that would have been in a candy store or soda shop. The second thing I’m reminded of is Chandler Bing, “Friends” character and joke enthusiast. A man who co-invented Fire Ball and became an unpaid intern in his late 30s. Neither of these things are something I would ask for advice, let alone help me make a decision. However, “Bing” is what Microsoft chose to name its so-called “decision engine.” Their search engine marketed to help users make decisions—from everyday ones like where to buy the cheapest potatoes, to epic ones, like which wedding venue to book. It’s like a little therapist packed into your computer. Congratulations Microsoft, you’re bringing the world one step closer to getting rid of deductive reasoning skills all together.

The first time I ever used Bing was by accident. I’ve never been much of a search engine-ist. They pretty much work the same: you type “How many colors are Peeps produced in?” or “How does Bill Gates celebrate his birthday?” And you are answered with a whole slew of articles that you are then forced to sort through. “Answers” such as biographies on Bill Gates, birthday supply discounts, and videos of live rap performances are among many topics that show up. Bing was no different. I still had to filter out all the advertisement sites feeding off SEO, and I still had to decide which color of Peep tasted best on my own. Bing wasn’t any better at making my decisions that I would expect a computer to be, i.e. not good. Their site was just more annoying—it constantly told me how helpful it was, encouraged me to watch tutorials so that I might better use their site. It assured me it was much more user-friendly than other search engines, and it was making my life much easier. Using Bing was like listening to the smart kid in class explaining just how easy last night’s calculus homework was. I wanted to kick both of their asses.

People don’t care about advertisements, or if your slogan is decision-based. They care whose search engine works like they say it will. Type in “best search engine” into Bing’s tool bar and what comes up? An add for Google. Is Google’s search engine actually the best? Probably not. But it doesn’t constantly shove its greatness down my throat, like a self-righteous tongue depresser. The ad states “search with Google,” not “decide”—which is really all I’ve ever wanted in life: a search engine who is honest.

Bethaney Wallace

Bethaney Wallace

Bethaney Wallace is a tea drinking, Amazon loving writer and editor. When she's not working on TSR or her personal blog, she loves reading and looking for new DIY projects.

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  • http://thesocialrobot.com Kelsey

    Great post Bethaney. Here’s to more bsides in the future!

  • http://www.vibeshares.com Henway

    I feel Bing is right for the older generation of searchers that do need guidance and tutorials when they search. And to be honest, the quality of results of Bing vs Google ain’t that huge. Google just has the brand name and marketing genius behind them. In reality, Google has awful results for certain queries like commercial things and health.

  • Alex

    What really annoys me is the Microsoft silently installs it without even asking. I had removed it fully in the past using a registry edit to disable the search pane in IE8. When I updated Win7 x64 to SP1 yesterday I looked into the IE add-ons, and fkin’ Bing was back and set as default… It wasn’t installed as a toolbar so there was no entry for it in Programs & Features to uninstall. Since it was the only available search add-on it wouldn’t allow me to remove it unless I installed an additional one. So I had to get the Google add-in and set that as default, this allowed me to remove the fkin’ Bing thing. Those muthas at Microsoft, they know that most people wouldn’t bother with Bing crap over Google so they install it in secret. A lot of novice users wouldn’t have a clue on how to remove it so there you have it, more Bing hits from users who are forcefully converted to Bing.

    Ok rant time:

    DEAR MS HACKS:
    a) WE DON’T FKIN’ LIKE BING.
    b) WE WILL NEVER USE IT. NEVER.
    c) WE WILL ALWAYS FIND WAYS TO REMOVE IT. ALWAYS. SHIT, I DON’T EVEN USE YOUR IE8 BLOATWARE ANYMORE, STILL IT REALLY BUGS ME THAT YOU FKIN’ HACKS KEEP INSISTING ON SHOVING YOUR CRAPWARE SEARCH ENGINE BULLSHIT DOWN OUR COLLECTIVE THROATS!
    d) IF SOME OF YOU STILL POSSESS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST MODICUM OF RESPECT TOWARDS YOUR CUSTOMERS YOU WOULD STOP SILENTLY INSTALLING SUCH CRAP ON PEOPLES’ COMPUTERS, AND YOU’D AT LEAST GIVE YOUR CUSTOMERS THE CHOICE WHETHER THEY WANT THE FKIN THING INSTALLED OR NOT!!!
    e) LAST BUT NOT LEAST: BING??? WTF KIND OF NAME IS THAT??? I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE DISCUSSION TAKING PLACE WHEN YOU WERE “BRAINSTORMING” THE NAME OF YOUR NEW SEARCH ENGINE:
    MS Marketing Manager: So what should we call it? C’mon guys, it needs to be short, hip, sexy, and cool.
    MS Marketing underling: Boss, I Have a name! I have a name!
    MS Marketing Manager: Lets hear it then!
    MS Marketing underling: Bing! We should call it Bing!
    MS Marketing Manager: Bing! Yes! I’m lovin’ it! Sexy, cool and hip, like us! Kinda like a cross between Binge and Bling. You are instantly promoted to the level of Resident Office Genius!

  • IH8BING

    I used to use MS homepage as a news aggregator. I would check out the headlines and click on the links that I wanted to read. But since they introduced Bing, you can’t do that anymore. They provide the juicy headline, but when you click on the link expecting to be taken to the relevant article, instead you are routed through Bing! to search for the article on your own. WTF Microsoft! Thanks for making my life HARDER! eFF you and your stupid engine. No wonder your page views are up. Instead of linking directly to news articles, you tease people to look for it themselves. Using Bing of course.

  • Stephen Sevenyoln

    Bing is the best search engine ever!

  • Hehachi

    I think Bing is Uber Suck. I took the challenge 4 times and google won all rounds 5-0.
    The lesson I learned: Google searches through all servers, Bing only search microsoft servers.

  • http://thesocialrobot.com The Social Robot

    Good call, Hehachi, good call. We both agree.

  • Earl Angus

    I agree with Alex, and when ever you type in a web address it redirects you to somewhere youv`e never heard of. Bing Sucks. if it gave you a choice maybe but it sucks

  • http://twitter.com/Lehjr1 Leon

    easier to list what doesn’t suck about it. 

  • http://twitter.com/Lehjr1 Leon

    easier to list what doesn’t suck about it. 

  • http://twitter.com/Lehjr1 Leon

    easier to list what doesn’t suck about it. 

  • http://twitter.com/Lehjr1 Leon

    easier to list what doesn’t suck about it. 

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