Last month’s worst-of post received a record number of reader responses. (For TSR anyway.) Some readers agreed, some were ashamed, and most couldn’t believe I hadn’t included their biggest pet peeve on the list. So, with your suggestions, here’s a brand new list of even more cringe-worthy Facebook practices.
Let’s hope we aren’t found in the ever-growing list of guilty parties.
10. Double Linking
Facebook is smart, guys. When you post a link, it picks up the title and relinks it for you. Like it’s magic. No need to leave that long http://, dash-filled address at the top. All it does is hurt our eyes and make us wonder why you’re too dense to delete the original.
9. One Million Posts a Day
Facebook is not Twitter. We don’t need an update every few hours – no matter the subject. Limit yourself to two per day (though that’s pushing it), and save the rest for a rainy day that never actually arrives.
“I need a new real estate agent in the Midwest-City area who shows great houses but only has afternoon office hours. They also have to be blonde and over 5’6”. Who can help? Ready, go!” These trolls are too lazy to do their own research and clog our newsfeeds in the process. Extra failing points to anyone who asks for photos or contact information.
7. The Duck Face
How did this ever become a thing? It looks ridiculous, oh so ridiculous, and is probably making your mouth age faster; lips were not made to be so duck-like. And while we’re at it, quit tilting your head so severely in every photo. It makes our necks hurt just looking.
6. The In and Out Account
Are you on Facebook or aren’t you? These account owners de-and re-activate so much it makes our profile pics spin. Make a decision, a final one, and stick with it. Or else we may just have to de-friend you, permanently.
As stated here, recipes are for Pinterest. Quit making us hungry every time we log in.
4. Significant Other Bragging/Thanking
We know you’re married/dating/engaged, and we know you think your significant other is pretty great; that’s why you’re with them. So why do you post on their wall every week about how great they are, or how they cooked you dinner and you’re SO grateful? Keep it private and get a chat room already.
3. Too Many Selfies
If you ask me, one selfie – the face, only, posing kind – is too many. It’s vein, obnoxious, and a real attention yelp. BUT, when cool scenery is involved, or you’re at an event, or working on some other achievement that isn’t wearing heavy eyeliner, the occasional selfie is understandable. Where occasional is once a month or less.
You know those posts with a million comments where people say the exact same thing? It’s because they didn’t read what others posted before adding own their two cents. It’s a conversation, not a talk-at-ersation; take the time to show others you don’t think your words are more important than theirs.
1. Look Who’s Talking
Except for the two+ movies starting John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, babies can’t talk. I’m willing to bet a few dollars that they can’t type either … or use Facebook. So moms and dads, quit posting pictures and comments from the kid’s point of view. Trust us, we will still think your baby is just as cute (maybe even cuter when we gain a little respect for their parents).
Give it a try, your adult brain will be happy to make its comeback.
In-n-Out Burger photo courtesy Adam Wilson.